DOWN TO EARTH

with Craig Shane

Hello, everyone. Craig Shane here, this time without my broadcast colleague Gwen Shiners breathing down my neck and insulting me every chance she gets. By the way. Wes, how in the hell have you managed to endure the same thing for so long? Some advice, please, man!

Anyways, Ringmaster promised to be one hell of a night - one worthy of a return, and it’s hard to argue with the results. Five out of six championships were decided and we already have some potential feuds brewing. So, with the return of the AGW comes what I intend on being either a monthly or bi-monthly article consisting of, well, quite a few things. Now, keep in mind, these are my personal opinions, nothing more. This is none other than…

Down to Earth

Now, I may or may not one day try and come up with a flashy banner for it, but in the meantime, it’s just gonna be me typing the name of the column out. Anyways, let’s get to it. First, I’m gonna rate the top ten performers of the Ringmaster PPV. Counting down from No. 10 and then followed with biggest loser.

TOP 10 PERFORMERS

10. Jay Reno – The guy was on a serious tear until he went up against Sean Tylor, the eventual winner of the whole damn thing. Although one can’t forget perhaps the deciding factor that was Demitri, who I’m sure Reno will blame for his loss to Tylor in the finals of Bracket C. And why shouldn’t he? Then again, his manager did knock Tylor out with a steel chair AND he was pulling the tights during his pin attempt. Of course, with Demitri dropping a knee on Reno to cost him his match against Tylor, as well as a chance at the World title, it also costs him a higher slot in the top ten.

9. Moonspell – The reformed Moonspell first makes, whom I would think is her best friend, Morrigan pass out in her new finisher. THEN, she knocks Sonia out in 22 seconds with a Tiger Driver. Now, add the fact that she then goes against her former ally now turned enemy Emereldas and makes her submit to the Last Gasp. For the most part, Moonspell dominated the Women’s tournament. That is until she went up against Ember Skye to determine the champion. Though she put up a valiant effort, a backdrop driver onto a chair from Ember would almost completely break Moonspell’s equilibrium. Moonspell managed only a small offense afterwards, but it was pretty much for certain that she was done. One Burning Ember later and that’s all she wrote for Moonspell.

8. Eric Von Doom – Always a favorite among the fans, Eric Von Doom was another person who went far at Ringmaster. Beating Patrick Xavier, E.H.B, and John Newman to make it to the finals of his bracket. His only downfall? He ran into Misery. EVD put up a hell of a fight, but Misery wanted his spot in the title match more, and ended EVD’s run with a spinebuster. Sorry, EVD. We love ya, but it just wasn’t your night.

7. TC Mason – The always arrogant TC Mason had plenty of reason to be as he made it to the finals of his bracket, beating out Brian Hill, Jack Deth, and Nelson. Having beat Nelson, it seemed like he was poised to go on to win gold. That was until Paladin blasted him with a power bomb through the flaming table. Hey, Mason, better luck next time, pal.

6. The Doc and Apoc – You gotta give credit where it’s due. They had one of the only two five-star matches of the night against The Lords of the Summit. Not to mention they’re match against Stan Deville and Wildfire as well as the team of the Dark Knights. Finally, they ran into the Dark Church, and it was definitely a back and forth contest. In the end, though, Doc and Apoc fell to the Dark Church after a Backstab to the Doc plus the pulling of the tights. Keep at it, Doc and Apoc.

5. The Dark Church – Speaking of the new tag team champs, they are number five. Why are they number 5 and not number 2? Simple? The fact that Dark Rogue felt he needed to pull the the Doc’s tights after a Backstab in order to win the belts. Pretty low, in my opinion.

4. Paladin – The Reverend of Hardcore was awarded the Anything Goes title after being the first man eliminated in the triple threat main event. Let’s be honest, the Paladin had a hell of a night. He perhaps had the most difficult bracket to beat. First, he beats former World Champ Brad Steel, then has a fairly back and forth battle with TJ Holding. Then add to that, the fact that he then had to face Mark Payne, the man who was THE champ before the hiatus and also had a bye to enter the tournament because of that. And finally he beat TC Mason to make it to the main event. A great showing from Paladin indeed.

3. Misery – Though he is officially the number 2 guy in the company right now after being awarded the Intercontinental Championship, he is number 3 here. Why no. 3? Well, he had a good night, but he didn’t win the big one. That is why he is here at number 3. Sure, he managed to beat Black Knight, Black Mage, Sambo, and EVD. Two legends and a legend in the making? That’s pretty damn good, but only good enough to put you at number 3, my friend.

2. Ember Skye – I don’t think anyone can say they dominated Moonspell like Ember did. Let’s face it, Ember tore Moonspell apart. Not to mention she beat the Enchantress in a fairly even matchup, the woman who was the woman’s champion going into the hiatus, Anna Von Doom, AND the ever so HOT Jessica Dawn in perhaps what was the most brutal matchup of the evening, matching Jessica’s hardcore style with some hardcore shit of her own that would even make the Paladin go “HOLY SHIT!” Add to that her destruction of Moonspell and you have your new Women’s Champion AND number 2 ranked superstar. Which brings me to numero…

1. Sean Tylor – In a bout where all three men were exhausted but determined to win the World Title, Sean Tylor outlasted the Paladin and Misery to win his first AGW World Title. Let’s not forget to mention he beat Jason Matthew Thirsk, Matt Technician, The Great Rollison, and Jay Reno (with an unlikely assist from Demitri). Also, how many others can you say would, instead of taking $100,000 for himself, would let it all fall from the ceiling into the hands of the fans. There is just no arguing the point. Sean Tylor has become the man of AGW for now, but there are those out there who will perhaps stop at nothing to take that title from him to put it around their own waist.

BIGGEST LOSER

Demitri – Sure, the guy won some of his matches (something which, if you remember before the hiatus, he didn’t do often), but he perhaps cost Jay Reno a chance at the World Title after his loss to him. Now, I don’t know about it being because he’s a sore loser (matter of fact, I don’t think he cared too much about that honestly), but the fact of the matter is that it was a complete lack of respect and sportsmanship for him to do that, not that he cares about any of that. He just enjoys hurting people, and he put a big hurting on Reno when he first hit him in the back with a chair and then KO’d him with a vicious knee drop to give Sean Tylor the win. Sore loser? Doubt it. Unsportsmanlike and disrespectful? Absolutely.

Okay, with that out of the way, I’m gonna let you in on what I felt to be the best segment of the night, not that there were many. Then, we go into the most disturbing, cause let’s face it. It’s not the AGW without a disturbing segment every once in a while. Just as well, I will name off the funniest.

BEST SEGMENT

AGW Women’s Division Phase II – It seems like the hacker has struck yet again, and that means the women need to be weary yet again. Although, this time it’s a bit more disturbing than last time. Last time, it was just someone editing pictures in order to humiliate the women. Now, it’s gone to a whole new level. The hacker’s first target? None other than the new mother, Morrigan Anastasia. It’s one thing to mess with this woman, but to mess with her family? Probably not a good idea all in all. Morrigan will be out for someone’s head. This, I’m sure of.

MOST DISTURBING

Alex and Quackman return – “Oh God!” is the only thing I can come up with for this segment. Course, anytime Quackman is on screen is a very disturbing scene. But this… *shudders* should just be banned from society all together. Of course, if Gwen was here, she would laugh her ass off at me and call me homophobic, which I’m not, but Quacks just takes it to a whole new level of disturbing. I would prefer to never see another moment like that again, but I know that’s not going to be the case.

FUNNIEST SEGMENT

Alex and Quackman return – Yes, I know I called it the most disturbing, but something about the whole thing also made it the funniest, not that there was much competition, but still. That song, while it should never be done EVER again, was just too funny to not laugh at. Quacks… a pop star… God, what’s this world coming to?

Now with those out of the way, I’m going talk about two things that caught my attention.

For one is the tag division. Surprisingly, what many feel to be the most dominant tag team in AGW history did not appear on the AGW screen. I’m talking, of course, about the Nightmare Express. I think I was surprised as anyone when I saw that they were not on the roster. And why could that be? Perhaps because they’ve proven all they’ve needed to prove and have opted to retire. Or is it because they simply didn’t want to? Either way, with them not on the roster, one has to wonder who will dominate the tag team division. Don’t be surprised if it’s none other than the Dark Church, the new AGW Tag Team Champions. Sure, you have some great teams in The Brown Brothers, Dark Knights, and the Lords of the Summit. As a matter of fact, the Lords of the Summit are legendary. But the fact remains that, with the Dark Church reformed, I don’t see any team being more dominant in the times to come. Regardless, with so many great looking teams, including a few new ones, the tag team division appears to be the healthiest it’s been in a long time. I, for one, wouldn’t be surprised if we did end up seeing a lot of title changes, but I believe that they will consistently end up back in the hands of the Dark Church.

With that said, to everyone, welcome back to the AGW. Most of the roster are people who were still here before the hiatus. Still, there are new faces. And then there are those whom we haven’t seen in the ring in longer than the time the AGW was on hiatus.

New AGW faces, at least to me, include Dynamite Jr., El Hijo Del Tom Tennant, Jay Reno, Stan Deville, Harriet Brisco, The Enchantress, and Harmony. At least, to me, they’re all new AGW faces, save for Jay Reno, whom I saw wrestle in the FCW a few years back. All of these athletes look to have the potential to make it big in the company. Hell, Jay Reno almost made it to the main event. And so it goes. It’s going to be interesting to see how these youngsters perform in the coming months. Oh yeah, and although she didn’t appear at Ringmaster, having JUST been added to the roster after the Ringmaster PPV, what about this Daphne lady? Who is she? What is she here for? Of course, I’m sure the Women’s title is what she’s ultimately after, but the question is, who is she? Is she the one we all saw in the latest interview given by Demitri? Or is it someone completely different. I guess we’ll be finding out soon.

And what about faces that haven’t been seen for longer than the hiatus? “The Racist Bastard” Dan Sexton, Dorian Devons, E.H.B., Most Holy, Zoe Burgess, among others. All of these athletes boast a very impressive career. Most Holy with his multiple Cruiserweight title reigns, E.H.B. being known as one of the greatest hardcore wrestlers along with his multiple AG title reigns. You get the picture. Although the person that really stands out, to me, in the list of those returning faces is Dorian Devons. It seems that both times he was in the AGW, (and yes, unlike in his first interview back, he was here one other time after AGW’s resurrection in 2002, his first stint here. Must be the amnesia kicking back in some) he was unhappy, not motivated to be here. So what made him decide to return yet again? From his latest interview, one would assume it’s because of Mark Payne, but those that have followed his career are pretty sure it’s not so much that as it is, unlike what he’d like for you to believe, for glory. After all, the guy was the only person to hold every title available to the men over in FCW, that’s including THE longest title reign (out of all of the titles, not just the World title) in the history of the FCW. Matter of fact, he not only holds the record World Title reign in FCW’s history, but also the longest FCW tag team title reign alongside former partner, Rinyth. That’s two of the four longest title reigns in FCW’s illustrious history. Let’s face facts, the guy screams “glory hog” with the best of them, and don’t be surprised if he’s the same way about the AGW World Title if he happens to win it.