AGW SLAMMYS
Show Recap:
(Live Show hosted by Violet Morris and Charlie Sheen)
Below Are the Winning Announcement and Speeches....
TOP CRUISERWEIGHT NOMINEES:
Pre
Eric Von Doom
Chris White
Most Holy
Dynamite
Serpent Man
AND THE WINNER IS:
Pre
Pre kisses the brunette beauty
that Divine introduced him to recently before rising from his seat. He's
sporting a classic black tuxedo. An announcer says, "Pre captured the AGW
Cruiserweight Title Five Times and also won the UWL Cruiserweight Title during
his Rookie year."
Pre: This is really quite an honor. To have finished ahead of men such as Eric
Von Doom, Most Holy, Mark Paris and Tyler Durdan is distinctive in and of
itself. I know that the reason I'm here has most to do with work ethic and
drive. A wrestling match is a work of art that people can look at and be
affected in as many ways they're capable of understanding. My job is simply to
do my absolute best to provide them with the quality of art they're paid to
see. All my life people have been telling me, "You're too small Pre" or "Give
up your foolish wrestling dream, kid." What they were forgetting is that I HAVE
TO WIN. All is want is to be number one, whether as a cruiserweight,
heavyweight or tag team competitor. I've always said two things since coming
into AGW: "I'm gonna make it a pure guts match at the end, and if it is, I'm the
only one who can win it." and "Somebody may beat me, but they are going to have
to bleed to do it." Living by those kinds of words is what earns a man the
honor of being Cruiserweight of The Year. Thank you, AGW.
HALL OF FAME INDUCTION:
Legendary Pretty Boys
("The Red" by Chevelle blares
as the LPB take the stage)
JOSHUA GARDNER: I would like to take this opportunity to thank my tag team
partner, Ricky Thompson. Ricky,
you're my best friend and it would not have been the same without you.
RICKY THOMPSON: Right back at you.
JOSHUA GARDNER: Now, we'd like to thank Speed Racer for giving us the chance to
come into the AGW, and become what we have today. This is the single greatest
honor anyone can receive in this business. Thank you Speed Racer.
RICKY THOMPSON: We'd also like to thank Mark Paris and Goldberg. There is no
Clique without those two individuals. We've traveled a lot of roads together,
and look forward to traveling more.
JOSHUA GARDNER: And in no particular order, we would like to thank the following
people. Most Holy, Gryphon, Brad Steel, Mark Payne, Sambo, Blackhawk McKnight,
Legends of Tombstone, Immortals, Smooth Operator, Kid Nitro, Joe Public, Dark
Church, Mass Destruction, ThUGS, Nightmare Express, Ghetto Boys, Dungeon of
Mediocrity, EHB, Cedric Donahue, Extreme Killers, The Violators, Bloodpath, EVD,
William Regal, Bobby Skywalker, Tom Tennant, Nelson, Alpha and the Omega, all
the Morris sisters, Moonspell, Lollipop, Chocolate Thunder aka C-Dogg, Emeraldas,
Eli Vane,
Loki, and many many many others. Blast Boys, The Reckoning, Skull Ganz, Brolly,
The Saiyans, The Blood Pirates, Comedy and Tragedy, Tommy Rotten, Tyler Durdan,
Fenris, Ghetto Booty, Amethyst, AVD, Uriko Nonomura, Rhapsody, Moonspell, Eve,
Divine, Jessica Dawn, Evolution, Blood Shed, Blood Runs Cold, Unleaded, Jimmy
Crush, Insanity, Benaka's Alliance, KANE, and others we can't think of right
now. We wish we could...
RICKY THOMPSON: Seriously, fans....wrestlers. We are honored to share the ring
with you. Those not inducted today....are all Hall of Famers to us. Thank you
everybody!
STABLE OF THE YEAR NOMINEES:
The Clique
Lords of the Summit
Violet’s Corporation
Benaka’s Alliance
New Clique
The Chosen
AND THE WINNER IS:
The Clique
("The Red" by Chevelle blares
over the PA system as the Legendary Pretty Boys rise from their seats and make
their way to the podium. "Baby" Stacey Davis, is of course, following close
behind. They reach the podium, accept their Slammies, and begin their
acceptance speech.)
JOSHUA GARDNER: You know, I can't really say we're shocked. Since day one of
The Clique, way back before any of you were lucky enough to wrestle in this
company, we have dominated every single group and individual that has tried to
take us down. There is not collection of wrestlers that can claim any kind of
dominance whatsoever over The Clique.
RICKY THOMPSON: We have always been, and will always be the measuring stick of
success. Even the name, The Clique...brings chills and demands respect. No
matter how many times The Clique reforms, everyone knows they are witnessing
something special when it happens. And let me make this clear while I have this
forum. NO ONE ended The Clique. No one disbanded it. It's still strong,
because ties like that never get cut. Hold your breathe AGW, you never
know when another emergence will happen....and it will happen.
JOSHUA GARDNER: We'd like to take this time to thank everything that made this
possible. The figurehead of The Clique, The Legend Killa and Hardcore
Revolutionary, Mark Paris. We'd also like to thank one of the greatest
wrestlers ever to lace boots, and the corner stone of the Clique, Bill
Goldberg. I would like to personally thank "The Ravishing One", Ravishing Ricky
Thompson for his contribution. The Clique wouldn't be the same without you.
RICKY THOMPSON: And I would like to personally thank "Most Gorgeous", Gorgeous
Joshua Gardner for making one-half of the Greatest Tag Team of All Time a
thriving success, and who's part in the Clique could not be filled by anyone
else.
JOSHUA GARDNER: Last, but not least....Speed Racer. Whether we're at odds with
him or not, he's always our brother, and always Clique. Thank you Speed Racer
for helping mold The Clique into what it is.
RICKY THOMPSON: Thank you Clique!
BEST HARDCORE WRESTLER NOMINEES:
The Paladin
Tyler Durdan
Dan Sexton
Tom Tennant
Eric Von Doom
Duncan Macleod
AND THE WINNER IS:
The Paladin
[As the Paladin's name is announced a broad grin spreads over his face as he gets up from his table. He walks to the podem and accepts the pleague that is handed to him. Holding it overhead the Paladin smiles even more broadly and waits a moment or two before the appluse dies down enough for him to speak.]
The Paladin: It's been an interesting road since I first entered into the doors of AGW a little over a year ago. This place is one I've been pleased to call my school, as it were, and what a school it's been. I've gone from the most anti hardcore wrestler in the world to the best here in AGW, and my multipule matchs and my triple capture of the Anything Goes title just goes to show you how much one can learn within the confines of AGW in a year. I have to thank those who have encouraged me, Jessica and the Mostest being chief of course, but also I must thank the fans. They truly are my backbone, and make this job I do incredablly enjoyable. Many thanks, and I can assure you that I will be gunning for this most excellent awart again for 2003-2004, even if I have to bite some knees off! Once again thank you.
[ The Paladin returns to his table, proudl holding the Best Hardcore Wrestler of 2002-2003 pleague in his hands.)
(OOC: I must give thanks to Scott, Ben, and Rob for their support and friendship. You chaps really make this hobby worthwhile!)
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR NOMINEES:
Nelson
John Newman
Eric Von Doom
Pre
Tyler Durdan
Touchstone
AND THE WINNER IS:
Nelson
Absolute shock on his face, Nelson climbs to the podium. holding the Slammy in his enormous hands
"Well... for once I'm at a loss for words! Thank you AGW, for recognising me in
this manner. It has certainly been an incredible trip for me on this past year
- a year that has seen its fair share of bumps and dips, but one that I have
also enjoyed most thoroughly. I am still amazed a twenty something with a
historical British Navy fixation has been taken to your hearts so much! Thank
you again. At this point however, I wish to recount a story. Two words, react
as you see fit. Mark Paris."
Booing fills arena. Nelson grins broadly
"You may or may not remember the quite incredible series of matches he and I
undertook in the name of then crippled Most Holy. It was in that very first
match that the man's true character shone through like a beacon. I won that
match - I 'went over' as we in the business say. And that was not my idea. It
was his. I can heartily say that I would not be anywhere near where I am today
in the AGW if it hadn't been for Paris and that match, for it was that match
above all else that lent me the credibility that I believe has resulted in my
being here now. For that Mark, I am truly grateful. To everyone who voted for
me to win this prestigious statuette, thank you. It means more to me than even
my noble, over emotional heart can explain. Thank you again. Enjoy your
evening everybody!"
Nelson struggles with his emotions, finally breaking into an enormous grin and
holding his Slammy aloft
MOST EFFECTIVE FINISHER NOMINEES:
Battle of Trafalgar (Nelson)
Smooth Operation (Smooth Operator)
Pretty Boy Bash (Legendary Pretty Boys)
Eternal Doomnation (Eric Von Doom)
Neckbreaker DDT (Cedric Donahue)
Regal Stretch (William Regal)
AND THE WINNER IS:
Eternal Doomnation (Eric Von Doom)
Eric walks slowly
up to the podium, surprise evident upon his face.
"Wow, with all the guys in this room, and all the evil, evil holds I've been in
over the last year, that you'd choose my Eternal Doomnation is a true honor. I
guess I have to thank The Rock for hooking me up with Raven to learn the move in
the first place, as well as Raven for being willing to teach it to a poor boy
from West By God Virginia. Oh, and I guess I should thank all you schmucks
who've fallen for it over the past year!
With a huge grin, Eric heaves his Slammy high, then walks back to sit down next
to Anna and Nelson at their table.
HALL OF FAME INDUCTION:
Legends of Tombstone
BEST TECHNICAL WRESTLER NOMINEES:
William Regal
Smooth Operator
Duncan Macleod
Methos
Bill Goldberg
Mark Paris
AND THE WINNER IS:
William Regal
Staggering up to the podium, bow tie askew, William Regal bows graciously to the crowd as it boos him. He nearly topples over as he does so, and slowly drags himself up using the podium for leverage. His cheeks are noticeably flushed.
"Thank you - thank you. Please forgive my slightly unkempt experience - I've had half a bottle of Budweiser and I'm slightly tipsy! Hah, yes I thought you would find that amusing. It's good to know your laughing at me rather than with me. No... that wasn't meant to be funny... *sigh* Oh well. I just want to take this opportunity to assure you all that yes in fact you made very much the right choice in voting me Best Technical Wrestler EVER - or whatever it says on front of this little figurine. I can't make out the words... everything is so bloody blurry, and everything is so bloody fake... Ha! Bet you didn't think I was up on modern culture! Pool of Mudd we salute you!"
Sneers at laughter happily, once again assuming people are laughing with him
"Anyway. I think I cemented my name onto this little category when I beat good old Smooth over there - yes the one who's muscles are bursting out of his tux - with a humble back slide for his World Title, proving once and for all that technical wrestling is the way forward. As the best advocator of that in this puny federation, I am truly honoured to say that I have made almost every single person in this room tap out at some point or another my patented submission moves. I am simply glad that your shoulders had sufficiently returned to their sockets long enough for you all to vote for me in this category - although, what choice did you really have? That Immortal chump? Matt Technician?! Pah! You've made the right choice AGW - and for that you have risen in my estimation. Some day - maybe - just maybe - you may make it into the positive figures on that scale. Good night and thank you all again!"
Regal leaves the podium to decidedly luke warm applause. He doesn't seem to notice, waving his Slammy in the faces of his fellow wrestlers as he passes, furthering his chances even further of being beaten the crap out of as he enters the parking lot after the show
HOTTEST / BEST WOMEN'S WRESTLER NOMINEES:
Stacey Davis
Moonspell
Anna Von Doom
Divine
Amethyst
Hope
AND THE WINNER IS:
Moonspell
(Moonspell, dressed in the most revealing black vinyl goth outfit one can buy, has a look of complete and utter shock in her face. She turns around and kisses Tom Tennant, and then she and a delighted Morrigan share a hug and a kiss. Speed gives his sister a thumbs-up sign and a smile as Moon walks up to the podium.)
Moonspell: I don't know what to say. I was surprised I even got nominated for this award, much less to win it. I've always been "Speed's little sister", which was an automatic taboo not to mention my "goth girl next door" look. My goal has always been to wrestle and leave the beauty contests to those who couldn't. But I've had a change of heart in recent months. I finally a man who truly made me FEEL beautiful on the outside and inside. Tom has changed my life in more ways than one, and I love him for that.
I grew up in the business. Some long-time fans of wrestling saw me when I was an 18 year old upstart back in 1997, where admittedly I didn't know what I was doing.
(Moonspell and the crowd laughs a bit at that)
But I managed to persevere. I had the best teachers, I've had the best friends and evidently I don't look too bad either. Heh, I don't really judge my looks one way or the other, so I never know if I'm "hot" or "not". I dress how I want, I put whatever makeup on that I want, and I do what I want. I know the whole "gothic" lifestyle has never been hotter, so that might be a part of this as well. But for my peers and all of the fans to vote for me, I can't thank you all enough. I can tell you that in my own opinion I think all of the other women in the category are better-looking than I am, and I understand that this is also the "BEST" Women's Wrestler category as well. This has been the greatest week of my life so far with winning the Women's Title and now getting this award.
(Moonspell now finally begins to tear up quite a bit.)
Just some quick thanks. I would like to first and foremost thank my brother, Speed Racer, for making things as difficult for me in the business as he possibly could when I started out. Because if he hadn't showed me the hard life of the business early, I might have learned from people I didn't trust. Plus, you're my bro, so I love ya for that too. I'd uhhh of course like to thank Tom for being there for me 24/7 and being the love of my life. Thanks to Morrigan and Amethyst for being my best friends in the whole world. And thanks to the rest of the AGW's Women for getting our division noticed. Nobody takes women's wrestling seriously, but we've all proven that you can look good AND be tremendous wrestlers. Anyone who doubts that are just fooling themselves. Thank you all, good night!!!
(Moonspell tearfully raises the award up and walks back to her table where Tom, Morrigan and Speed all congratulate her.)
BEST ANNOUNCER NOMINEES:
Wes Powers
Morbo
Violet Morris
Ray Foresman
Mike Tenay
Tony Schiavone
AND THE WINNER IS:
(tie) Wes Powers and Morbo
(Wes Powers jumps up and down like he just won the Super Bowl. He quickly runs up and grabs the awards for both him and Morbo.)
WES: Yes Yes Yes!!!!! This is my first year with the AGW, and I've already proven to be the most entertaining announcer out there. Take that, Zbyszko!!! Now I have both these awards, because *I* deserve them. I....HEY!!!
(A very bright light shines down on Wes, and then the lights in the room go off for a few moments. When they come back on, Wes only has one award in his hand.)
WES: Dammit Morbo!!! Both of those were mine! Oh well, whatever. Thanks to my legion of loyal fans who listen to everything Uncle Wesley has to say. I look forward to winning this next year, and the year after, and all that. WOO HOO!!!!
(Wes hustles down the stairs, continuing to hoot and holler in general enjoyment of the award.)
BIGGEST SHOCKER OF THE YEAR NOMINEES:
Most Holy retiring
Smooth Operator turning heel
William Regal winning the World Title
Speed Racer turning face
Departure of Brad Steel and Sambo
Moonspell and Tom Tennant dating
AND THE WINNER IS:
(tie) Most Holy retiring and Smooth Operator turning heel
(No speech available)
ANGLE OF THE YEAR NOMINEES:
The Clique retiring Most Holy (Paris/Most Holy feud)
Smooth Operator turning heel
Violet turning heel and forming her own Corporation
VP Tennant’s Powertrip of the AGW
Formation of Legion of Superiority
Duncan Macleod’s courting of Anna Von Doom
AND THE WINNER IS:
The Clique retiring Most Holy
Most Holy sits back in his chair, a shocked look on his face. Slowly he gets up and makes his way to the podium.
Most Holy: Amazing. Most Holy’s near death wins him an award…Most Holy doesn’t know whether to thank the workers of the AGW for acknowledge his near death…or thank the Mustard for letting him survive. Either way, when Most Holy started into wrestling…a while ago…it was all about entertaining the fans, no matter what it took…as Most Holy and many of the other wrestlers here tonight go out and prove night after night. The acknowledgement of the fans is one thing…acknowledgement by your peers is another…it means so much more. Most Holy thanks you and hopes for the opportunity to entertain you all some more.
("The Red" by Chevelle blares, as the LPB rise from their table again, followed quickly by "Baby" Stacey Davis. They arrive to the podium, accept the Slammies, and begin yet another speech.)
JOSHUA GARDNER: Well well well, it seems the people LIKED the idea of Most Holy
retiring. Tis' a shame he didn't take. But not to worry, because I have taken
it upon myself to do the job again. Holy, you'll never know it, but I'm always
just around the corner. I will complete the job we started, and rid you of the
AGW FOREVER!
FEUD OF THE YEAR NOMINEES:
Mark Paris vs. Nelson feud
Clowns R Us vs. Legends Of Tombstone feud
Eric Von Doom vs. Duncan Macleod feud
The Clique vs. Bloodpath feud
Nightmare Express vs. Blast Boys feud
William Regal vs. Paladin feud
AND THE WINNER IS:
The Clique vs. BloodPath
("The Red" by Chevelle plays
once again, as the LPB rush to the podium and take their Slammies. Let the
acceptance speech commence.)
JOSHUA GARDNER: You think we were gonna let that Neanderthal soil this mic
before we give our speech? Screw that, they can wait their turn. We just
wanted to say, on behalf of the Clique....get well soon Mark! That there is a
certain special group of people that, without them, this would not be possible.
So, in all honesty and sincerity.....The Clique would like to
thank.....THE CLIQUE!!
RICKY THOMPSON: I mean, come on! Pick any feud The Clique was in, and it will
win this thing. We are the show people, so...once again, THANK YOU CLIQUE!!
(Brock Lesnar and Evolution block the Pretty Boys from getting off the stage, as DOOM makes his way to the podium)
DOOM:
Well feud of the year. Its not over its just begun!
{DOOM and Kevin Hall kick the LPB's in the guts and execute Power Bombs}
Kevin Hall: Like DOOM said its just begun.
HALL OF FAME INDUCTION:
Dan Sexton
Dan Sexton leaps to his feet, knocking over his chair and a waiter carrying dirty dishes behind him. Dan jumps around several times, beating on his massive chest. He makes his way to the podium shouting the entire time:
‘Figlio di puttana…figlio di puttana…’
Dan stands at the podium, a huge grin on his face and points to everyone of any sort of minority.
Dan: Caccati in mano e prenditi a schiaffi. Would youse look at dis…finally, some credit for what I been doin’ for da last three years. Youse couldn’t have made a better choice….dis is a fava duro…I knews youse all thought I was right all dese years and finally…everyone has da coglioni ta admit it. Da White Guy From Jersey is in da Hall of Fame…hey…youse do put da white guys separate from da…froscia…right?
MOST POTENTIAL AWARD (2003 could be their year) NOMINEES:
Serpent Man
Pishkiero
Touchstone
Nelson
Tyler Durdan
Nightmare Express
AND THE WINNER IS:
Nelson
The shock written on his
face as the award is announced, Nelson makes his way almost shyly to the
podium. He smiles as a ripple of applause and cheering fills the hall as he
grasps his statuette.
Nelson: I'm flattered. Stunned in fact. Stunned that someone who has so far
been beaten up and taken apart time and time again could be voted by you all for
the most potential award. I suppose the way I have responded to each challenge
must have helped - every time I have fallen, I have got back up and often ended
up triumphant, as can be seen with my historic feuds with Mark Paris and Smooth
Operator. There is one factor that enabled me to accomplish these feats. My
fans. My loyal, loving historical recreation society. I dedicate this award to
each and every one of you - let us hope that a career that has so far consisted
of only one title run and numerous agonizing, heartbreaking feuds is more
fruitful in future - for your sakes, as well as mine. Thank you to everyone who
voted for me, and I shall endeavour to prove you all right in the not too
distant future. Thank you again.
Thunderous applause and cheering breaks out as Nelson - obviously overcome, both
in appearance and his uncharacteristically uncertain speech - exits the podium
and makes his way back to his seat. Before he sits down, he pauses to shake
hands with Eric Von Doom and The Paladin, his two closest friends and
supporters. He grins broadly and holds his Slammy aloft for his fans before
sitting down.
BEST PPV of 2002-2003 NOMINEES:
King Of Hearts Tournament (5/4/03)
AGW Vs. The World (8/25/02)
Sizzler (7/28/02)
Winter Storm (2/23/03)
In Your Face (11/24/02)
Ultimate Survivor (10/26/02)
AND THE WINNER IS:
King Of Hearts Tournament (5/4/03)
(AGW Co-Owner Violet Morris walks up to the podium to accept this award. She's dressed in a very expensive white gown.)
Violet Morris: The King Of Hearts may have won partially because it was the most recent pay per view in the minds of the voters. But it really was a tremendous show from top to bottom. And it was such a blessing in more ways than one. We had originally planned on canceling the event, because it happened on an "off" month where there wasn't going to be a PPV. However, none other than The Paladin talked to myself and Speed and asked that the show continue on since it IS in the memory of the late Owen Hart. We agreed, and one of the biggest ironies in AGW history, The Paladin went out there and won the Ringmaster tournament in impressive fashion!!! His excitement over winning was true and genuine, which is always a nice thing to see in this business. So we're glad you all enjoyed this particular show, and let's hope that our shows this year will go even better!
MANAGER OF THE YEAR NOMINEES:
Dream Coach
Peckerhead
Hugh Fitzkairn
Miss Jacqueline
Lauren
Kate Holiday
AND THE WINNER IS:
The Dream Coach
The Dream
Coach stands from his seat after being announced the winner for manager of the
year, standing simultaneously from their seats the Nightmare Express escort
their spiritual leader to the podium to accept his award. Upon receiving the
Slammy award the Dream Coach looks at the statuette and begins to speak...
Surprise, surprise, surprise. What a year it has been for the Nightmare Express,
I mean these two have captured a World tag team title, several individual
titles, and then to top the year's accolades off I win manager of the year.
So what is there left for us to do, win the World title, another run at the
World tag team titles. Who knows? It's kind of funny, I stand here before the
rest of the AGW, being praised as the top manager in the game, but if you look
around what kind of competition did I have?
Let's see there are a bunch of chicks, face it girls the T & A you all offer,
have nothing on I & C that I offer. Oh and for the Blast Boys, I & C stands for
intelligence and charisma. Now it's OK Boys if you are understandably miffed
that your advisor, Peckerhead, whilst a joke of a mentor and an even bigger joke
of a strategist, did not receive more votes than I did, but face it, how could
anyone named Peckerhead be taken seriously when compared with me. Hell, the only
real competition that I did face in this award was from Hugh Fitzkairn, and he
has as much charisma as a box full of rocks.
With all this said, I am pleased that I won this award, and I accept this award.
Who knows maybe next year some of you jokers will step up and prove that you are
a better strategist, mentor and spokesperson for your charges than I was this
year. And next year, the tag team of the year will belong to these two men, Bad
Dreams and the Dream Warrior, the Nightmare Express.
Holding the trophy aloft, the Nightmare Express hoist their manager onto their
shoulders for all the AGW to see. After a momentary victory pose the Nightmare
Express place their manager back on the stage and together they move to the
backstage area.
MOST HATED WRESTLER NOMINEES:
Mark Paris
Bill Goldberg
Tom Tennant
William Regal
Smooth Operator
Brad Steel
AND THE WINNER IS:
Mark Paris
(Speed Racer walks up to the podium as the crowd applauds Mark Paris' win for Most Hated Wrestler)
Speed: Mark definitely deserves this award. Not only did he win the "Most Hated Wrestler" award this year, but he's won it before as well. Mark Paris is arguably the most hated wrestler in the business, ALL of it because he is so good at it. He has a way to get under your skin like nobody else can. I know, I've feuded with him AND fought by his side. He has given everything for this business, and while it's taken it's toll on his health a bit, Mark can rest at night knowing that he is the greatest "heel" the business has ever seen. Love him or hate him, you must ALWAYS respect him, because he could consistently back up any claim he made, no matter how outlandish they might have seemed. Thus, he truly became the epitome of the term "the man everybody loves to hate". He would do all these terrible things, and then manage to back it up, which made him even more hated.
I've taken so much flack for giving him second chance after second chance after second chance. But I will continue to leave the door wide open for the man's return, because Mark Paris is one of the biggest superstars this business has ever seen. Yeah, I could take the usual "he makes me money" statement, but it's beyond that. If it weren't for men like him and the Pretty Boys, who always played the "heel" alignment to perfection, the AGW wouldn't be here today. That's how much Paris means to me. I truly consider him a friend. Again, wherever he is, I wish him all the best and I'll keep this award until he shows up to accept it. Thank you.
(Crowd applauds the rousing speech about the man everyone loves to hate, Mark Paris)
MOST HATED TEAM/STABLE NOMINEES:
Legendary Pretty Boys
Dark Church
The Clique
The Blast Boys
Violet’s Corporation
Legion of Superiority
AND THE WINNER IS:
Legendary Pretty Boys
("The Red" by Chevelle blares
again, as the LPB make their way to the podium.)
JOSHUA GARDNER: So, the LPB are the most hated team in the AGW. Hated more as a
tag team, then as a stable in The Clique. Impressive, isn't it? The reason we
won this is an easy explanation. We are the most successful, dominant,
intelligent, charismatic, and entertaining tag team in the world. So, who hates
us? Everyone else! You hate us, because you ain't us!
RICKY THOMPSON: Can't blame us for the hand God dealt you, however if I were in
your shoes, I would fold. Really, even though many have tried, none have
surpassed or dominated the LPBs. It's only natural we are hated for it. So,
this award is a testament to our success and our claims of being the best. You
just proved our point people. Thanks.
JOSHUA GARDNER: So on behalf of the LPB, we would like to thank ourselves for
being so damned great, and the other wrestlers on the roster for voting out of
jealousy....in short, being honest. GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!!
MOST POPULAR WRESTLER NOMINEES:
The Paladin
Nelson
Eric Von Doom
Most Holy
Dark Rogue
Smooth Operator
AND THE WINNER IS:
Most Holy
Most Holy looks shocked and lowers his face into his hands, Zoe reaches over and pats him on the back, Most Holy rises to his feet and makes his way to the podium.
Most Holy: Well…a year ago, if anyone asked Most Holy if he would ever win another Slammy in his career, Most Holy would have laughed at them. Most Holy can’t take full credit for this…there have been so many people who have brought out the best…and worst in Most Holy. People who are far more deserving of this recognition, people like Eric Von Doom, Paladin, Speed, Tennant, the Dark Church, the Legends of Tombstone…even Smooth and the Pretty Boys…bastards that they are. Most Holy must thank all of them and more…Most Holy’s memory is as long as his hair, Most Holy knows he is forgetting many people but…this means so much to Most Holy. Thank you all…may your Mustard remain refrigerated for years…
MOST POPULAR TEAM/STABLE NOMINEES:
Blast Boys
Paladin and Most Holy
Heaven and Hell
Legends of Tombstone
Alpha and Omega
The Nightmare Express
AND THE WINNER IS:
(tie) Paladin and Most Holy / Heaven and Hell
Eric and Anna
both rise from the table, exchanging a huge hug before walking up to the podium
together. They wait patiently as Most Holy and the Paladin give their speeches,
showing their respect for the two men and what they've accomplished. Once the
Mostest and Paladin are through, they step up to the mic.
Anna: "Well, for a tag team that was too short lived, I guess we did manage to
make a rather huge statement, didn't we big bro?"
Eric: "We sure did, little sister. Our very first night in the AGW, we managed
to best several other teams in the initial tag team tournament, and we walked
away that night the World Tag Team champions!"
Anna: "And we defended those belts several times before finally falling against
three other teams. To none other than my boyfriend's best buddy, Methos, no
less..."
Eric: "No worries, Anna, they were just doing what they had to do, to prove that
the Immortals are the best in the business. Still, we have to thank Speed for
believing a mixed tag team could compete against all the big bruisers in the
AGW."
Anna: "And we have to thank Amethyst and Moonspell as well, for teaching us how
to work together as a team."
Eric: "I suppose so..."
Anna: "Eric!" *smacks her big brother in the back of the head* "Be nice!"
With that, the two wander back down off the stage.
(no speech given for Paladin and Most Holy)
TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR NOMINEES:
Legendary Pretty Boys
The Immortals
Legends of Tombstone
The Nightmare Express
The Blast Boys
Nelson and Smooth Operator
AND THE WINNER IS:
Legendary Pretty Boys
("The Red" by Chevelle blares
once again, as the LPB take the stage.)
JOSHUA GARDNER: We are going to let the Immortals speak in a second, but first
we would like to thank them. For many many years of stiff competition, and
never losing your step. It is an honor to share this award with The Immortals.
RICKY THOMPSON: Our favorite opponents, and bitter enemies. We love wrestling
The Immortals, because we know no matter what, we're going to have a hell of a
ride. Congrats to them. Thank you.
JOSHUA GARDNER: Of course, we could tie break it with who beat who the most this
last year, in which case...we would be accepting this award ourselves. But hey,
we can live with this. Immortals? The stage is yours.
(The Immortals make their way up to the podium.)
MacLeod and Methos are both
sporting their nicest European tailored suits as they rise from their seats to
take the stage and accept their awards. As they walk, an announcers voice says,
"The Immortals first won this Slammy in 1998 and are Eight-Time World Tag Team
Champions."
Duncan MacLeod: Being World Heavyweight Champion, I get plenty of attention, so
I'll let Methos say our few words for us.
Methos: First of all, congratulations to Josh and Ricky as well.
Congratulations and thank you. We feel that if either The Pretty Boys or The
Immortals hadn't been in AGW last year, then neither team would be as good as
they are today. We force one another to take the match to the next level.
Thanks also go out to the other teams of AGW: The Alpha and The Omega, The Blast
Boys, The Nightmare Express, The Dark Church. I could list many other teams,
but you all get the point. Each team deserves a little part of this award, but
it can only go to the top vote getters. We'd also like to thank everyone who
voted for us and promise our fans that this won't be the last time you see The
Immortals at this podium.
HALL OF FAME INDUCTION:
Black Knight
(Black Knight stands up, in a very dapper suit, and breathes what almost is a sigh of relief. He shakes hands with his Dark Church brethren: Dark Rogue, White Rose and Cardinal Cyn, as he makes his way to the podium.)
Black Knight: Well, I'll be damned. You know, it's funny. I once stated that when the Dark Rogue and Black Mage got inducted into the AGW Hall Of Fame several years ago, that I would fight with them and the fans because they didn't include me in with them. But that was then, and this is now. I was always the quiet member of the group, preferring to let my actions speak for me...and for the most part, I was damn good at it. I might not have any World Title reigns, or even World TAG Title reigns under my belt here in the AGW. But every time I won the IC Belt, or the TV Belt or the Anything Goes Belt, it felt to me even BETTER than what winning the World Title would be. I knew that these were the divisions I could make a career off of fighting in, and I was right.
Of course the Church won the 3-man tag belts a number of times as well, which just shows the cohesiveness we always had as a unit. So first off, I'd like to thank the Rogue and the Black Mage for sticking with me through thick and thin like true friends are meant to do. I'd like to thank the managers we've had over the years, The Enchantress, White Rose and Cardinal Cyn. And of course, I have to thank Moonspell and Amethyst for sticking with me over the last couple of years until I rejoined the AGW. You gals are 2 of the toughest I've met, and hopefully we'll get back on speaking terms again. I'd also like to thank the ownership for giving me a league I could truly call home. I've been to a number of other places: WHCW, EEMWF, TEW...but the AGW was the only place that accepted me with open arms. In exchange, I will do anything for this place and for YOU fans!!!
(Huge cheap pop)
I've had a long career as Mr. Underrated, and as long as the AGW continues to be strong, I will continue to make my home here and enjoy performing for each and every one of you fans out there. Lastly, I'd like to thank all the men I've fought over the years. I've got this cult following that have followed me over the years, and they remind me of everything I used to be. I decided why can't I be "like I used to be" again? So look for me to be an even bigger part to the AGW in the near future. But for now, thank you all for inducting me into the Hall Of Fame. It was no secret how much this award has meant to me over the years, and now I can finally call myself a Hall Of Famer. Thanks!
(The Knight raises his arms in the award, and makes his way back to the table to a standing ovation.)
TOP ROLEPLAYER OF THE YEAR NOMINEES:
Mark Paris (Dave Nichols)
Legendary Pretty Boys / Stacey Davis (Josh Gardner)
William Regal / Nelson (Rob Pierce)
Eric Von Doom / Anna Von Doom (Ken Crites)
The Rock / Hope (Mike Currie)
Bill Goldberg / Morbo (Jeremiah Blair)
AND THE WINNER IS:
William Regal / Nelson (Rob Pierce)
Shyly, the man known as Rob wonders to the podium as only a very tall suitably modest Englishman can do. He smiles uncertainly and begins.
"I don't know. I voted for Dave. Still. I think it's fair to say that this
award, as honoured as I am to have been voted for for it, could have been won by
ANY of the roster on the AGW, past, present or hopefully future. As far as I am
concerned, we are all bloody marvellous role players. A simple skim of any of
our shows will tell us that. Each and every show is beautifully constructed,
with clever jumps and promos each telling their own tale. Naturally, I'm
monumentally flattered that you have chosen me as roleplayer of the year. But I
just wish to reitterate - it could have been any of us. Give yourself a round
of applause folks."
Grins as applause fills arena
"A lesson I learned very early on in my AGW tenure is you are only as good as
the person you are roleplaying with. Whereas certain World Champions of the
time decided they couldn't be bothered to fight my boys, others gave me the time
to form a decent coherant arc with me, something I think Nelson touched on
earlier, thus increasing my own pulling power in this fed, and greatly adding to
the enjoyment I've experienced here. I want to thank each and every handler
I've had the pleasure to interact with, be it as Nelson, Regal, or even myself
in the offtopic. You guys have taken me in and let me get myself established
and thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. It's been enormous fun, and
I'm glad that comes across in my roleplays."
"To be fair, I couldn't have done it without my two erstwhile colleagues...
William... Nelson... could you join my please?"
Nelson and Regal reluctantly join their writer
"Now now boys, shake hands - or it will be rainbow thongs for both of you!"
Quick thumbs up to Uri - Nelson and Regal stubbornly shake hands, not looking at each other, Regal making a point of sticking his tongue out at Nelson.
"That's better. On behalf of me - on behalf of them
- thank you very much everyone. This means an awful lot to me, and I'm glad you
were all with me for the ride. It's been a Helluva lotta fun, and long may it
continue! Rock on!!!"
MATCH OF THE YEAR NOMINEES:
Kid Nitro vs. Brad Steel vs. Eric Von Doom vs. DOOM (AGW Meltdown – September 29, 2002)
AGW vs. FCW 10 on 10 War Games Match (July 28, 2002)
6 man Ladder to Success feat. Sambo, Scion,
Steel, Goldberg, Smooth, Tennant (November 24, 2002)
Nelson vs Mark Paris (February 16, 2003)
Legendary Pretty Boys vs. The Immortals –
Ladder Match for the Tag Titles (May 25, 2003)
Dark Rogue vs. The Paladin - Title vs. Title (Winter Storm 2003 - February 23,
2003)
AND THE WINNER IS:
Kid Nitro vs. Brad Steel vs. EVD vs. DOOM (AGW Meltdown)
Again Eric rises from his table, the already-huge grin on his face widening even
farther. He manages to beat DOOM to the microphone, if only barely, and begins
to speak.
"Well, since neither Kid Nitro nor Brad Steel are here tonight, I guess the Big
Man and I will have to accept this award in their place. All I can say about
that match is that it was the most awesome night of my career - it put me on the
map with the AGW World Heavyweight Title. Plus, it was a completely awesome
night all around, as all four of us fought and clawed like mad to stay on that
bridge. So thank you, again, and now let me turn it over to my friend, DOOM"
(DOOM walks up to the podium)
DOOM: Well, I don't know. Hey match of the year? I agree. Two guys are gone and its just EVD and I, who are still standing. EVD, I look at you right now and yes to me you are a friend but also a foe. You think this is the match of the year? Me and you can always give the match of the year against each other every night. To the Voters thank you.
HALL OF FAME INDUCTION:
Tom Tennant:
(“The Blood, The Sweat, The Tears” by Machine Head plays and the camera pans to Tom who is shocked, Moonspell gives him a hug and pushes him out of his seat to get him moving. Tom finally comes to his senses and makes his way up to the podium. Oh yeah he’s dressed up in a classic gothic outfit, no doubt picked out by Moonspell.)
Tom: Holy Sh*t, This is quite indeed an honor to be named by your peers into the hall of fame. I never thought since day one that I would be where I am today and I have a lot of people to thank. First of all to everybody in the AGW, from Speed to the ring crew, to the guys in the back thank you.
When I first started out in the AGW I was in this little feud with a man named Silkk the Shocker, from that point on I started to get more and more recognition, my battles for the AG Title were legendary, my fights with Dan Sexton, Blackhawk McKnight were among the most brutal…but the ones I remember most are my battles with Extremely Hardcore Brawler…many a time have I been hit with the ASS chair.
After that I started to gain more recognition and the upper class of the AGW started to take notice and I fought anybody who would challenge me. From Mark Paris to Chocolate Thunder…and yes to my man nemesis today…Smooth Operator. Hey Smooth…about time I got a win over ya.
(Tom gets a little chuckle out of this as does the crowd)
You know this speech wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention and thank my greatest AGW rival. Mark Payne, this man came into the business a little later then me and we both hated each other, our matches were nothing sort of brutal warfare. If it wasn’t for Mark Payne I don’t think I would be where I am today in the AGW.
So what’s next for The Survivor…just the same old sh*t, do my best and maybe…JUST maybe I’ll finally get to hold the AGW World Title. Thank you.
(Tom gets off stage and walks back to his seat, he gives Moonspell a hug then sits down.)
WRESTLER OF THE YEAR NOMINEES:
William Regal
Eric Von Doom
The Paladin
Smooth Operator
Dark Rogue
Duncan Macleod
AND THE WINNER IS:
William Regal